Now that we’re all here and pretty much in the same boat as each other, let’s discuss something that all you married folk may be dealing with… marriage during the quarantine.
This time is not something anyone planned for, but I think this is a time when marriages can grow the strongest or weakest.
To keep your marriage alive and thriving, it’s going to take some effort… A LOT OF EFFORT! The question is, how bad do you want your marriage to grow stronger?
Something I like to think about with my marriage is how I felt and what we did when we first started dating. Everything was so bliss and fun and exciting. I like to camp there for a bit to just reflect, and I like to try and bring parts of those times to our present just as reminders. (DON’T DWELL ON THE PAST, BUT USE WHAT BENEFITED THE RELATIONSHIP AT THE BEGINNING)
Here are some ways to be intentional with your spouse during this quarantine time together whether you guys are still working from home or not.
CONNECT ON A DEEPER LEVEL
Like I mentioned before, I regularly think about what my husband and I would do during the beginning stages.
I remember a couple of times in particular where we just talked.
We hardly ever pulled out our phones for ANYTHING during our time together.
We met up and chatted, and then we would notice that the sun was about ready to come up.
It was THOSE kinds of conversations!
We talked about everything from childhood, to what we like or didn’t like, school, work, I mean EVERYTHING!
THOSE WERE THE BEGINNING STAGES THOUGH, SO IT WAS NEW AND CAME SEEMINGLY SIMPLE.
So the way to have these conversations as a married couple (after basically knowing everything about each other at this point) is to be creative and dig deeper.
Conversations are part of marriage DAILY, but what are some things that you don’t know about your spouse?
I think making the effort to be more intentional in what you talk about will make a world of difference in your conversations.
Here is a list of questions that Read Cook Devour came up with that could start some really deep and meaningful conversations with your spouse.
With these questions, you can dig way deeper than the superficial “How was work? How you feeling today?” questions.
You can also check out this post by That Wife Life called Stay-At-Home Date Nights for Married Couples for some date ideas while in quarantine.
Hopefully, after this whole quarantine dealio, you’ll desire to find more creative ways to continuously connect with your spouse.
Drop your email below so I can send you some more free resources to help improve your relationships. 🙂
DO SOMETHING YOU BOTH USED TO DO DURING YOUR CHILDHOOD
My husband and I grew up in the ’90s and ’00s, so we are part of that generation where you have to blow on your video games to make them work.
When we first started dating, he bought a controller like this one that you can hook up to your phone and play the old Super Mario Bros. games on. A nostalgic time.
We also both played baseball when we were younger, so we found that any form of that was a nice time spent. Our first “hang out” was at the batting cages! GOOD TIMES.
We both have baseball gear that we can use to go outside and hit some balls to each other or play some good ol’ fashion catch.
When I was younger, I always spent time with family putting a puzzle together. HOURS were spent doing these puzzles, and it’s something that I think taught me a lot of patience. This isn’t my husband’s favorite pastime, but I think compromising is key when it comes to an activity you might not like.
My husband’s choice of game is a good game of poker. He loves the mental strategy that has to take place to play the game. I don’t know how to play poker, so it’s not the first thing on my list of games to play during quarantine, but it doesn’t hurt to be taught (over and over again) and try to enjoy it with my husband.
Find something you both enjoy (that doesn’t involve technology as the main focus) and DO IT! Enjoy it!
GROW CLOSER TO GOD TOGETHER
During this time, I think this will be the hardest for all married couples to do because it involves being in a spiritual battle.
Connecting with God is an act of faith and spiritual discipline that both you and your spouse can do as ONE.
The enemy doesn’t want your marriage to succeed, and he wants you guys to fight and get tired of each other. Spending time in the Word is CRUCIAL to getting closer to God TOGETHER.
The more growth in this area means more growth in your marriage.
Getting God’s words into both of you begins to shape you as individuals who can be more compatible through what GOD is telling you, TOGETHER.
Spending time in prayer for your marriage, each other and others helps to direct your prayer life.
Your focus begins to be what God has planned, and how you and your marriage fit into that plan.
During this time, so many people are in need in some way, shape or form.
So using this time to pray with each other, for each other but then for others, grows you as a couple taking part in Kingdom building.
Having a regular conversation with your spouse about what God is showing you is so important in your marriage growth.
Your faith and view on who God is and what He’s capable of begins to expand.
When there’s no discussion regarding the things of God, the marriage isn’t being nourished and fed.
I think while having a conversation about God, talking about what each of your goals in your walk with God is will help uplift, build up and encourage your spouse.
Talking about what you feel that you’re being called to with your spouse is a visual representation of growing together in Christ “…as iron sharpens iron..”
WORK ON THE HARD STUFF
I was unsure if I wanted to add this one in because well, quite frankly, don’t nobody want to talk about the hard stuff.
Marriage isn’t easy, ESPECIALLY during quarantine when you’re stuck together for who knows how long!?
But, just like I always talk about, relationships take effort and intentionality.
The busyness of life allows us to dismiss the things that may be hidden.
Each person deals with their hidden things.
Then you have another individual with issues as well.
Now they’re married, and then it becomes 2 people with issues under the same roof.
First off, giving each other space is very important. Allowing each other time alone is going to help you out in the long run.
Your spouse may be internalizing the fear of the situation we’re dealing with GLOBALLY. Let them sit and think.
When/if they want to discuss those things, be ready to LISTEN! Don’t speak. Just hear them out.
Even if they’ve internalized minuscule (or huge) things within your marriage, the Coronavirus is just 100 lbs on top of all of that.
Let those things be discussed, talked about and let out.
THEN, work on them TOGETHER!
Being transparent within your marriage is so beneficial to both of you.
The more you let things fester inside of you, the bigger the blow-up will be when things just explode!
Talk about the important things that need to be worked on.
Once that’s all out in the open, watch the marriage flourish and bloom into a completely different relationship!
Above all else, love each other despite the situation we’re all in.
Be intentional in the way you speak, listen, communicate and love.
The only way we can get through this storm is through unity and love for one another STARTING in our marriages.