IDENTITY

WHY TRUE IDENTITY BEFORE A RELATIONSHIP?

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO STEP INTO TRUE IDENTITY BEFORE STEPPING INTO A RELATIONSHIP?

IF WE GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP EXPECTING THIS OTHER PERSON TO DEFINE US (SUBCONSCIOUSLY OBVIOUSLY) THEN WE CAN EXPECT A HEARTBREAK.

BUT WHY?

WHY IS UNDERSTANDING OUR TRUE IDENTITY SO IMPORTANT THOUGH?

BECAUSE IF WE DON’T SEE OURSELVES FOR WHO GOD SAYS WE ARE, & WE DON’T SEE THE OTHER PERSON AS GOD SEES THEM, MISTREATMENT WILL HAPPEN & IT’LL HAPPEN FREQUENTLY.

LET’S TALK A LITTLE MORE IN-DEPTH ABOUT WHY UNDERSTANDING OUR TRUE IDENTITY IS IMPORTANT FOR BOTH PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

OUR TRUE IDENTITY: IMAGES BEARERS OF CHRIST

IF WE TRULY BELIEVED OUR TRUE IDENTITY AS IMAGE BEARERS OF CHRIST, A LOT OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS WOULD GO THE WAY GOD INITIALLY INTENDED THEM TO GO.

NOW LET ME GIVE YOU A SCENARIO…

YOU HAVE A WOMAN, LET’S CALL HER SALLY.

SALLY LIKES THIS GUY, LET’S CALL HIM BILLY.

SO SALLY LIKES BILLY AND WANTS TO GET HIS ATTENTION WITHOUT COMING OFF AS DESPERATE.

SALLY MAKES EVERY EFFORT TO BE AROUND BILLY WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING THE ONE TO INITIATE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM.

BILLY STARTS TO NOTICE TO HER. 

HE LIKES WHAT HE SEES BUT HE DOESN’T WANT TO START THE CONVERSATION EITHER.

EVENTUALLY, THEY MEET WITHIN A GROUP SETTING, & BEGIN HANGING OUT ALONE.

THINGS ESCALATE & NOW THAT SALLY HAS BILLY’S ATTENTION, SHE’S WILLING TO COMPROMISE HER MORALS & FAITH TO KEEP HIS ATTENTION.

THE SCENARIO SEEMS PRETTY COMMON, RIGHT?

BUT THE MAJOR MISTAKE TOOK PLACE AT THE VERY BEGINNING.

SALLY SOUGHT THE ATTENTION OF THIS GUY & DID EVERYTHING SHE COULD TO MAKE THIS GUY NOTICE HER.

SHE DIDN’T SEEK OUT THE LORD.

SHE DIDN’T ASK GOD ABOUT THIS GUY.

BILLY WAS ATTRACTIVE, & SHE HAD TO MAKE SURE HE NOTICED HER.

IF SALLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN HER TRUE IDENTITY AS AN IMAGE BEARER OF CHRIST, SHE WOULD HAVE TAKEN A STEP BACK & PRAYED ABOUT WHAT SHE WAS FEELING TOWARD THIS BILLY GUY.

BILLY WOULD HAVE ALSO TAKEN A STEP BACK, REMEMBERED THAT HE WAS AN IMAGE BEARER OF CHRIST, SPOKE WITH GOD, THEN PURSUED SALLY IF THAT WAS SOMETHING GOD GAVE THE GREEN LIGHT ON.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

NOT LIVING IN TRUE IDENTITY

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING, “WHY IS THIS A BAD THING AT ALL? THIS IS NORMAL TODAY.”

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU’RE RIGHT. 

THIS IS NORMAL, BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE.

IF SALLY & BILLY WERE LIVING IN THEIR TRUE IDENTITY AS IMAGE BEARERS, THEY WOULD HAVE TAKEN THINGS UP WITH GOD, TO BEGIN WITH.

THE LOVE & RESPECT OF THE OTHER’S IDENTITY IN CHRIST, WOULD HAVE REMAINED WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP IF THEY HAD STARTED IT OFF WITH THAT UNDERSTANDING.

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

THE TWO OF THEM, INSTEAD OF GOING OFF OF THEIR FEELINGS & THOUGHTS, WOULD HAVE RESPECTED & ESTEEMED THE OTHER AS HIGHER THAN THEMSELVES (PHILIPPIANS 2:3).

I KNOW THIS SEEMS A LITTLE DRAMATIC & A LITTLE DRASTIC, BUT HEAR ME OUT.

IF WE LIVE IN OUR TRUE IDENTITY AS IMAGE BEARERS OF CHRIST, THIS WOULDN’T SEEM LIKE “SO MUCH”.

IT COULD ALLEVIATE SO MUCH HEARTACHE, BITTERNESS, RESENT, REVENGEFUL FEELINGS, ANGER, ETC.

ULTIMATELY, NOT LIVING IN OUR TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST, ISN’T GLORIFYING TO GOD.

IF WE HAVE THESE BILLY & SALLY SITUATIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE, ESPECIALLY WITHIN THE CHURCH, HOW IS THIS GLORIFYING TO GOD?

NON-BELIEVERS WATCH HOW WE LIVE OUR TRUE IDENTITY

WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS, NON-BELIEVERS WANT TO KNOW IF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE DIFFERENT THAN OR THE SAME AS THE CHURCH.

IF WE AREN’T LIVING AS THE IMAGE BEARERS WE ARE, & WE’RE RUNNING THE NAMES OF OUR BROTHERS & SISTERS IN CHRIST THROUGH THE DIRT DUE TO A BREAKUP, THEN HOW ARE WE ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE WORLD?

WE’RE CALLED TO LIVE OUT OUR TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST SO THAT THE GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES (OR PEOPLE LOOKING AT THE CHURCH) WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO GOD.

ARE WE DOING THIS?

WHEN IT COMES TO SALLY & BILLY’S “RELATIONSHIP”, THE ANSWER IS NO.

AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP, BILLY & SALLY AVOIDED EACH OTHER AT CHURCH & AROUND FRIENDS, CHEATED ON EACH OTHER, USED EACH OTHER SIMPLY FOR RELATIONS, HURT EACH OTHER BY JUMPING INTO THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP SHORTLY AFTERWARD.

(BASED ON REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES)

THIS CAUSED ANIMOSITY, HURT, PAIN, FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS, FEELINGS OF BEING EASILY REPLACED, & LOSS OF TRUST WITHIN THE COMMUNITY OF BELIEVERS.

IF SALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN CONFIDENT IN HER IDENTITY IN CHRIST, SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN BLINDED TO THE FACT THE BILLY WAS EVEN IN THE ROOM.

GOD HAS A COOL WAY OF DOING THIS IF WE’RE SENSITIVE TO HIS SPIRIT BY LIVING IN OUR IDENTITY.

OUR GOAL WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS SHOULDN’T BE THAT WE WOULD RECEIVE INSTANT GRATIFICATION & PHYSICAL SATISFACTION.

THE GOAL IS TO LIVE IN OUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST AS IMAGE BEARERS SO THAT GOD WOULD BE GLORIFIED IN EVERYTHING WE DO- ESPECIALLY RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER BELIEVERS.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SALLY & BILLY WOULD HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THEIR TRUE IDENTITY?

HOW WOULD THINGS HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT?

LIVING IN OUR IDENTITY AS IMAGE BEARERS

CHECK THIS ONE OUT

(BASED ON TRUE EVENTS)

NOW IF SALLY WAS LIVING IN HER TRUE IDENTITY WHEN SHE SEEN BILLY, SHE WOULD HAVE TAKEN HER THOUGHTS & FEELINGS TO GOD IN PRAYER.

SHE WOULD HAVE ASKED GOD TO TAKE AWAY THE FEELINGS SHE HAD FOR BILLY IF IT WASN’T SOMETHING GOD WANTED & SHE WOULD HAVE WAITED.

OOOO THAT WORD IN & OF ITSELF IS A TURN OFF TO MANY!

THE IDEA OF WAITING FOR ANYTHING THESE DAYS, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS, IS ALMOST TABOO.

IF GOD WANTED THINGS TO GO ANYWHERE, GOD WOULD HAVE ALLOWED BILLY TO NOTICE HER.

BILLY, IN THIS SCENARIO, IS BEING SENSITIVE TO THE SPIRIT.

HE WOULD HAVE NOTICED HER & TAKEN IT UP WITH GOD AS WELL.

GOD WOULD HAVE LET BOTH OF THEM KNOW WHAT STEP TO TAKE NEXT.

IF THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT GOD WANTED THEM TO BOTH TAKE PART IN, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY HIM.

THE TWO OF THEM COULD HAVE COME TOGETHER, SOLID IN THEIR IDENTITY AS IMAGE BEARERS, & BEEN A GREAT EXAMPLE OF WHAT A CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIP ENTAILED.

THE BEAUTY OF THIS SCENARIO IS THAT GOD ALLOWED THEM TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO WALK IN THEIR TRUE IDENTITY OR SUCCUMB TO WHAT THEIR FLESH WANTED.

WOULD THEY STAND FIRM IN THEIR IDENTITY IN CHRIST AS IMAGE BEARERS?

WOULD THEY RESPECT & LOVE EACH OTHER IN A PURE & UNCONDITIONAL WAY?

WAS THE RELATIONSHIP GONNA GLORIFY GOD?

WERE THEY GOING TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHER BELIEVERS SEEKING OUT RELATIONSHIPS?

THESE WERE DECISIONS THEY HAD TO MAKE ABOUT THEIR TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST AS IMAGE BEARERS.

NOW, THIS IS JUST ONE SCENARIO.

THERE CAN BE MANY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, BUT THE SAME ACTIONS SHOULD BE PUT INTO PLACE TO RESPECT EACH OTHER’S IDENTITY & LIVE OUT THEIR TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST.

HERE ARE SOME OF THE KEY POINTS I HOPE YOU TAKE AWAY FROM THIS POST ABOUT WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOUR TRUE IDENTITY BEFORE GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP:

  • BE SOLID IN YOUR TRUE IDENTITY AS AN IMAGE BEARER OF CHRIST
  • REMEMBER THAT ALL BELIEVERS IN CHRIST ARE ALSO IMAGE BEARERS OF CHRIST
  • TREAT THEM AS YOUR FELLOW HEIR IN CHRIST
  • SEEK OUT THE LORD FOR EVERY STEP OF A RELATIONSHIP REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME GOD MAY HAVE PLANNED
  • NEVER STOP LIVING IN YOUR TRUE IDENTITY AS AN IMAGE BEARER
  • YOU’LL BE ABLE TO LIVE CONFIDENTLY & FIRMLY IN CHRIST IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES
  • GOD WILL BLESS THE OBEDIENCE OF AN IMAGE BEARER WHO LIVES IN & THROUGH THEIR TRUE IDENTITY
  • WE NEED TO LIVE IN SUCH A WAY THAT PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTED TO JESUS
  • PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THE CHURCH TO SEE HOW THEY ACT TOWARDS EACH OTHER & HOW THEY LIVE OUT THEIR IDENTITY, IF AT ALL
  • PURPOSE & KINGDOM BUILDING CAN BEGIN FULLY AFTER WE STEP INTO OUR ESTABLISHED IDENTITY
WE ALL WANT TO GIVE & GET LOVE. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT WE NEED TO STEP INTO OUR TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST BEFORE A RELATIONSHIP? FIND OUT WHY

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