We want to be in control of everything, right? We want to be the ones to say “This is how it should be and that’s that”. Something that I find myself trying to control is the well-being of my family. There is obviously nothing wrong with caring for your family, but there should be balance and boundaries.
I don’t necessarily mean that I try to control the daily ins and outs of their day (that’s impossible anyway), but I stress and become anxious about their safety while they are driving, working in a building, etc. I know that 99% of the time they are completely okay, but that 1% can literally drive me nuts.
Meeting with the Supernatural
After spending time journaling the other day, I found myself asking God about my family and what my role was in the family dynamic. Not like, “God do I belong in this family?” but like “God aren’t I supposed to be here for this person because of this reason or that person for that reason?” You want to know what He told me, “Your role is to let me take the leading role.”
BOOM! I was spiritually on my face before God. Yes, I am part of my family, but like I’ve been told before, I can’t fix everyone and everything. It was such a humbling response that God gave me.
Right then and there, I found peace. Not like I shouldn’t be doing anything for my family, but that I am to be a vessel that the Lord uses whether in my family or outside of my family.
Something cool that He told me was that He’s got my family in His hands. He is taking care of my family in a way that I can’t. He is dealing with things that I know nothing about, and He will use me when He’s ready for me. In the meantime, I am to be looking to Him for my next steps, directions, and plans. We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
Praying for my Family
Here’s a short story that He reminded me of. A promise that He gave me 7 years ago. I was crying my eyes out for my family (rough times) on my bed alone 7 years ago. I begged God to literally talk to me to reassure me in some way. I opened up the Bible and read these verses.
Jeremiah 24:6-7 My eyes watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be there God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
In my time with Him the other day, He revealed to me that it’s not my job to worry about what my purpose is with my family right now. My purpose is to reach so many more people (including my family) with the word of my testimony.
This post is not to say anything negative or degrading to my family by any means. I love my family and would die for them without question, and they are all aware of that. The point is, I am not their god and neither are they mine, so I need to change my perspective in this time I have here on earth to see the goal and meaning my life: to love God, and love others and to spread that love and the understanding of that love to as many people as the Lord wants me to.
My challenge for you (and me) is to remember that we are here for a dash in time. What are you doing to grow the kingdom?
(TO MY FAMILY: You guys mean the world to me. You also know how much God means to me. Putting you in His hands is probably the greatest act of love I can do for you guys. Whether you see it today, in a week, a month, 10 years. Who knows, but one day, I hope you fully and truly understand where I stand with each and every one of you, and know that the love I have for you guys is only a small portion of the love God has for you. Much love!)