Do you see vulnerability and transparency as forms of weakness? Do you go beyond the superficial conversations with those around you? Do you allow deep thoughts and conversations to take over meetings with others?
I find it quite disappointing when I think about how hard it is for people to allow others into their world. To be vulnerable with others about struggles, weaknesses, strengths, fears, doubts, achievements, etc. is regarded as too much in the feelings.
I’m here to let you in on something…. I love being vulnerable and transparent (to a certain extent of course which I’ll get into) with others. I find that it allows for much deeper relationships all the way around.
People want to be heard and people naturally want to listen, but we just lack the way to do those things properly. I’m not claiming to know the “right” way to have better relationships, but these two (vulnerability and transparency) have definitely assisted in relationships that I’ve been a part of.
Benefits of Vulnerability & Transparency
Allowing transparency & vulnerability into conversations with others is a great way to allow authenticity and real talk to manifest with a relationship. Have you ever had a conversation where you felt as though the conversation went nowhere FAST?! What was the content of the conversation? Were you holding back about things that you probably could have expressed to this person? Did you pick up that vibe from them? It happens quite often in all types of relationships. But, when we allow others into little bits of our life, over time, the relationship becomes deeper and the connection grows stronger. When others see that you let them behind even one wall that was cemented at the base, they understand that you’re willing to connect deeper than a conversation about the weather. Been there! Done that! Multiple times! Let your conversations carry purpose and meaning. The conversation should be uplifting, motivating and encouraging for both of you. Allow deep conversations to saturate your time together. You won’t regret it.
When others see that you’re reaching much deeper than your average person would in a conversation, it becomes a domino effect of encouragement. Now think about this for a second… other than your immediate family or friends, who have you had an actual in-depth, heart to heart conversation with? I can say that these conversations are rare nowadays. I see vulnerability and transparency domino effects because once one person allows walls to come down, others will see the benefits of deepening conversations and allowing those closest to them inside with them. People are eager to be authentic and meet authentic others. When we’re talking more about life and real-life struggles or victories, people will flock to more conversations like this. People want to know that they’re not alone in the things they struggle with or succeed in. They want to look beside them and celebrate or lean on someone going through the same thing or a similar situation. WE WANT CONNECTION!
The more we open up about real-life things, the more connections will be made. Each wall that we let down, is an opportunity to reduce the feeling of loneliness. The more real we become within ourselves, the more real we allow others to become. Why don’t we open up about real-life stuff? Why do we pretend that everything’s going alright? Why do we feel like we can’t talk about real-life situations with other humans who experience the same emotions and struggles we deal with? We were built for community. When we begin to really understand that concept, I think the more unity and love we’ll all be able to participate in. Everyone loves a person who is genuine and authentically themselves. It’s a contagious characteristic to have and allows connection with people with the same mentality.
Stop Faking It
Being vulnerable about life and the struggles or even achievements in life isn’t a bad thing. We have to remember that we were made to connect and relate. We need to rid ourselves of this facade that WE put on ourselves that we’ve got life all figured out. Like we don’t have any issues and we don’t need anyone? I’m not saying that we need to tell strangers about our deepest thoughts, but I’m talking about the people in our circles. We shouldn’t be talking about the weather with our best friend. GO DEEPER! BE VULNERABLE! BE TRANSPARENT!
The sooner we all stop pretending we don’t need others and others don’t need us, the quicker connection and healing can begin. No one is perfect. Everyone needs someone to talk about the things that are going on inside. Are you going to be that person? Are you going to start the domino effect?